You know, folks, life has a way of bringing us to places we never expected. Back in 2012 and 2013, my wife and I went through something that broke our hearts wide open ~ we lost two precious babies in the womb to miscarriage.
We had that moment of joy, seeing those little heartbeats on the screen, hearing them strong and steady. Then, in God's providence, they were gone. My wife carried the physical burden, the pain of delivery, and I stood by her side, holding those tiny ones in the palm of my hand, so small, yet so real, so alive in the eyes of the Lord.
As a man, I found the grief hard to express sometimes. We're often told to be strong, to support our wives, to keep it together. But the ache is real. Just recently, climbing that hill behind our house here in Helensburgh, Scotland, it hit me again like a wave. I was nearly on my knees, sobbing deep from the soul, the kind of crying that comes from way down inside. And I realised, fathers grieve too! We lose dreams, we lose the future we pictured, and we hurt watching the one we love go through this suffering.
Now, I don't share this to dwell in sorrow, but because God's Word speaks directly to it. Here in Scotland, this isn't rare. From what Public Health Scotland and government reports tell us, that a staggering of around 25,000 miscarriages happens each year here, maybe 1 in 5 pregnancies ending that way. With about 44,000 to 46,000 babies born alive each year, you see the scale. Thousands of families walk this quiet road of loss. But numbers don't heal hearts, only the Lord does.
The Bible tells us plainly, I am using the NKJV today, but those little lives were no accident. David wrote in Psalm 139:13-16, "For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb... Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them." God knew them, loved them, and their days, short as they were, are written in His book. They're with Him now.
And for us who remain? The Lord doesn't say, "Tough it out" or "Get over it." He draws near. Psalm 34:18 (NKJV): "The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit." When your heart is crushed, like mine was on that hill, He's right there. He doesn't stand off at a distance; He comes close.
David knew grief too. When he lost his friend Jonathan and even his own child, he wept openly. He didn't hide it. And in 2 Samuel, we see him mourning deeply, yet turning to the Lord. God collects our tears, Psalm 56:8 (NKJV): "You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?" Every sob, every quiet ache, He sees it, values it.
Jesus Himself said in the Beatitudes, Matthew 5:4 "Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted." Blessed? In mourning? Yes, because mourning opens the door to His comfort. It's not a curse to grieve! It's human, and God meets us in it.
Isaiah 41:10 has been a strength: "Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." When the waves come unexpectedly, He upholds us. He doesn't always explain why, but He promises His presence.
And look ahead, dear friend: Revelation 21:4 "And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." One day soon, no more graves, no more empty arms, no more hidden grief. We'll see those little ones again, in the presence of the Lord, whole and joyful.
If you're a brother carrying this kind of sorrow, maybe miscarriage, maybe another loss, don't bottle it up. Bring it to Jesus. Talk to a pastor, a brother in the fellowship.
Let the body of Christ comfort you, as Paul says in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 the God of all comfort comforts us so we can comfort others.
Your pain is real, but so is His grace. He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). Lean on Him ~Trust Him. And one day, He'll turn mourning into dancing.
If this article touches your heart, feel free to reach out through the site. We're all walking together toward home.
In His tender mercy,
Peter
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